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This is actually not a question but just a comment I thought might help. I noticed a few posts back someone saying the thought of going down on a girl to them was "ew". I just wanted to pipe up and say that I thought the same thing when I identified as straight until I actually tried it. Turns out I'm better at that than blow jobs. It's also less tiring to me and I actually enjoy it more. Currently I'm a pansexual engaged to a lovely young lady so that's how it worked out for me.
Aw! I’m actually really happy to hear that it all went well for you an maybe it did for that other person also. |
Ask-a-Queer
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Hi! I'm currently a college student attending a very small university in rural upstate NY. It's very straight, very closeted, and I'm finding it very difficult because everyone else around me is hooking up and getting in relationships while I haven't done a single thing with anyone my whole time so far. There are a few gay men here, but, since they're still in the closet or not okay with themselves yet, they avoid me like the plague since I'm still out. Any advice? I'm lonely and sad!
Roxy: Two words, online dating. I know this sounds silly but i’ve actually had really lovely dates with people via the internet you could check out okcupid and limit the search to people in your area or search for a gay social site. You could be surprised with what you find or who you get talking with. |
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Hello. I'm pansexual, and I recently came out to my parents. It did not go well. I have been constantly ill for over two months. And, I've lost a lot of weight. I haven't been this tiny since my freshman year of high school (I'm 22). No one's ever looked at me with such disgust and hatred before, no one's ever said such horrible things to me. Let alone my parents. Every second of every day is painful. I was just wondering if many people have health problems after coming out?
Roxy: I’m so sorry to hear that lovely. My mother didn’t deal well with me coming out to her either and hurled all kinds of horrible stuff that destroyed me but she has since improved her attitude i guess because she saw how much it was affecting me and her relationship. As for the health issue i started eating less because i was depressed and i got really stressed out and when i do i cannot help but scratch at my skin till it starts to bleed. What you’re going through is normal, honestly though all i can say is you need to take better care of yourself, you’re a beautiful human who should be healthy and happy despite what your parents say to you, your happiness comes before everything else, focus on the things you enjoy, see your friends, go on a date, or do something you’ve always wanted to do. Life your life, you only get one. |
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Do you think it's a good idea to have a gay room mate that you don't know when going to college? Because I am in this predicament of whether it would be weird and there would be some sort of awkward sexual tension when we finally met on the first day... Plus I've never been to college so it's all new to me...
Roxy: Personally I don’t see anything wrong with it but if you’re worried about it then why not see if you can meet him before the first day? Talk about rooming and space and anything else and then at the same time you get to know him and see what kind of person you’re going to be sharing a room with. I would do that no matter who the person is. You should be wondering how messy he is not whether it will be a good or bad idea to have a gay room mate. Also I don’t see why there would be awkward sexual tension? I mean, you may not be attracted to him and the same might go for him so there may not be any sexual tension at all. |
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Is it normal for lesbians to want to experiment with men? Kind of like bi-curious, just reversed?
Roxy: I think it is actually yes. We’re human, we’re constantly curious. You want to make sure men aren’t what you want or maybe you think that they may be what you want along with women too. If you want to experiment and see what you like and don’t like so that you’re sure then I say what the heck, go for it. |
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Having recently come out as a lesbian I had my first lesbian relationship recently. We went out for 5 months. I'm femme and she was kinda butch but not overly butch. When we had sex she would only do stuff to me and didn't let me touch her or go down on her. She implied it was part of the whole "femme-butch" thing that the girly one generally just recieves. I didn't like it cause I feel just as inexperienced with girls as I did before the relationship, also I just felt kinda selfish to be honest. Is this some kinda unspoken rule? Do you reckon I'll find that most butch lesbians are like this? Will I have to go out with another femme-y girl to get to do anything? Thanks.
Roxy: I think you may want to talk to her about how you’re feeling. It has nothing to do with being femme or butch, she’s just a very dominant person who liked to be in control all the time. So no, it isn’t an unspoken rule or anything it’s just her personality. I know plenty of women who are the same as your girlfriend. It all just depends on the person. Just talk to her and tell her it bugs you and that you want to pleasure her just as much as she does you. You have to talk openly with your partner about these things otherwise how are you going to understand one another. |
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I'm a lesbian and have been going out with a lovely girl and great friend of mine for a year and a half, but we're still both in the closet. The problem is that I'm tired of the closet and I want to at least tell my family that I'm homosexual, but she's not ready to come out, due to her less accepting parents. I know my family will be fine with me being lesbian (I think they kind of expect it), so should I come out on my own? And if I ought to, what should I respond with if they ask about my girlfriend? Do I lie about our relationship, even though I’m finally being honest with them, to respect her wishes of remaining in the closet?
Roxy: Personally I think it’s great that you finally want to come out. Coming out is something you have to do on your own, if your girlfriend isn’t ready then she just isn’t ready and that’s something she’ll deal with by herself you are your own person. You should talk to your girlfriend about it and see what she thinks about you telling your parents about your relationship. You could come out to your parents and tell them you have a girlfriend without saying who she is and just explaining she hasn’t come out yet. Or just simply not say who the girl is. However talk to your girlfriend first and see what she thinks too. |
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Hello:) thank you for your advice it's been very helpful:)
Roxy: Glad to be of help! |
